MyPR

Five and a half stories of Instant Gratification 

vis-à-vis 

Delayed Gratification

Here “Instant Gratification” refers to the immediate satisfaction or pleasure derived from fulfilling one’s desires or wishes without delay. On the other hand, “Delayed Gratification” refers to the ability to postpone immediate satisfaction or rewards in order to achieve greater long-term goals or benefits. I am a staunch supporter of delayed gratification. Old school? Right? …hmmm let us dive together.

1. Instant gratification in parenting:

In the relationship between parents and children, both instant gratification and delayed gratification play important roles. When a child performs even a small good deed, the mother (mom) shows a lot of love, representing instant gratification. However, from the father’s perspective, the child’s actions may not be anything special because the father wants his child to become a VATVRIKSH (Huge Tree) for the entire family, where future generations feel secure under its shade. The father’s goal is ambitious, and making the father happy is every son’s dream. Every son wants his father to feel proud of him. But because it involves goal setting, benchmarking, and dreaming, it becomes challenging. If the father is very successful, achieving that benchmark becomes difficult. Even if he is not that successful, he dreams that his son will surpass him. This dream gives the son a goal to strive for, and until the son achieves that goal, he feels frustrated that he hasn’t done anything special and all the expectations are from him.

2. Instant gratification in schooling:

When it comes to teachers, there are those teachers who have lower benchmark goals,. They easily give out grades and sometimes even sit in the canteen with students, making them very popular. On the contrary, teachers who teach, scold, and explain things are less popular. However, it is these teachers whom we remember. These teachers, whom we call strict, also feel proud of this adjective because the job of a teacher is not to make students happy but to nurture the best personality from their capabilities. Such teachers practice delayed gratification and may not be liked by students, but they are remembered. 

3. Instant gratification in food:

Next is gratification out of instant food. Although we like it, that is not healthy. On the contrary, home-cooked food may not be as appealing but is good for our health. Our brain registers everything that immediately shows its effect, but it forgets the cause of things that have delayed effects. Instant food gives a good feeling and the brain registers it, where as home-cooked food gives better health which just goes unnoticed.

4. Instant gratification in shopping:

Another form of gratification is in money. We are living in the world of Amazon Instant Gratification. The Amazon Genie asks us, “What is your wish today?” It feels like we are the owners of our desires, and we fulfill those desires without any reason. Our debit cards, credit cards, Google Pay, Paytm, or bank deduct the money, and within 24 hours, our desires are fulfilled. Buying things with a tagline of “wish fulfilled” is very appealing. Can you see they are playing with our minds? Manipulating us?  We buy things, whether we need them ir not. We are enticed by a sale or just want to show off our new purchases to others on social media, which provides another huge platform for instant gratification.

5. Instant gratification through social media:

These days, whenever I talk to someone, they don’t have time. Then I ask them about their screen time, and the answer is usually 4 to 6 hours. This screen time is being used for social media, not for learning, creating, or making something. You need to check are you have been trapped in the spider web of likes, shares, claps, reposts etc.. The quality of life does not come from social media. It comes from the relationships and how we value the people around us.

6. …and as promised my half story:

I met a girl at a party. She was in class ninth. While everyone was enjoying and chatting around; she was stuck to her mobile screen. An occasional glance here and there and a faint smile sometimes, but you could see that she was physically there and mentally lost. Her mother who was sitting next to me complained – she is always stuck on phone! More than 18 hours a day, I could smell a sense of pride in her(mother’s) statements. The daughter smiled at both of us and said I have got the best phone on the market always! Why shouldn’t I use it? Yes, I run my ministry from here my friends, and social media. In her pride, she questions me upfront, so? What do you do getting up so early in the morning? I smiled, well I run my home and I run my office. I prepare myself (body, brain, and mind) for my profession and life from early in the morning. I work for 18 hours a day to give my best to the society and nation. I could see, hear and feel the silence. 

Make your subconscious mind your servant with your intellect; otherwise, your mind will make you its servant. Don’t let your mind play with you. Keep the mind in control of the intellect. Life is a journey, not a destination. If you follow these principles, you will realize that you have got something special in your hands. To keep track,, keep a diary or digital notepad to jot down your feelings so that later on, you can remember how you felt. Be aware of your feelings and your mind.   Instant gratification is nothing but a state of mind. It is said, “Master your mind, else it will master you.”